Hi Y'all! Thank all y'all for your comments on my little ol' blog. From the looks of the poll, it seems like all y'all want to hear about the people I work with. Boy, howdy...are there some stories to tell there!Have y'all seen The Devil Wears Prada? I just love that movie, even though Meryl Streep made me pee just a little because she was so scary and mean. Well, y'all...that's kind of what my life is like with one of my managers in particular.
Like I've told y'all before, I have not one but TWO managers. The man, who'll I'll call "Tim", is just as sweet as he can be. He's as handsome as that George Clooney, and has just the best sense of humor. He's always so kind and encouraging. And then there's the other one. Oh Lord, give me strength. I'll call her "Princess Christy" (actually I'd like to call her something else, and often do behind her back, but that's another story.).
Well, the Princess got in her head that I needed to wear a maid costume on the days I worked for her. She kept hissin' and sprayin' out orders about "type this", "file that", "make me a spreadsheet", "do me a SWOT analysis", "buy me more of that medicated shampoo I like", "rub my feet", "make me a sandwich", "play Barbies with me"....Y'all, it's all I can do not to run screamin' and a-hollerin' for the woods. I've taken to wearin' my Serenity Prayer shawl when I work for her, but I'm findin' I might need somethin' stronger.
Yes, dear ones, I'm talkin' about Voodoo. I talked to Sharleesha, the last assistant to have this job, and she told me about a potion of chicken bones, Liquid Paper and cat litter she brewed in order to neutralize the bad chi that just fogs every room this woman walks in. You can imagine the hilarity that ensued when Ms. Princess Hissy Pants found the potion and started servin' herself a big ol' bowl of it, thinkin' it was Chicken-N-Dumplins' or somethin'. Jesus, take the wheel...I'm a-feelin' woozy.
So anyhoo...I had to abandon the idea of the potion. Plus, I don't think the nice people in Human Resources would take too kindly to the idea that I was tryin' to put some kinda voodoo spell on my manager, even if she would scare the fur off an organ grinder's monkey. I guess I'll stick to the Serenity Prayer, which I've adapted to meet my very specific needs:
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Like that freak of nature I work for.
Amen.
And y'all know what? It helps. It also helps that I accidentally spilled lighter fluid on that maid costume and set it on fire.
Until next time, y'all...
